Music and Memory

In the late spring, early summer of 1986, I was driving in my silver IROC Z28 Camero (insert small....joke here) from my house in Moorpark over to CLU where I was a junior working on my Communication Arts degree.  It was a really brilliant blue sky warm day.  Nothing really of note was happening that day, just your average, ordinary day.

I had just made a cassette copy of a "Till Tuesday's sophomore album Welcome Home, so on the drive I popped it in.  The first song 'What about Love ' was the big hit off the album (peaking at 26 on the Billboard Top 100)  I halfheartedly listened, humming a bit as I had heard the song several times on the radio, and it was in pretty heavy rotation on MTV- ya know, back when there was MUSIC on MTV...but I digress. 

Then the second song started.

'Coming Up Close' was a fairly simple pop song, but for whatever reason...the lyrics, the melody, Aimee Mann's lilting vocals, the sunshine...I was floored.  This song hit a part of my brain and made such a mark,that to this day, I just have to hear the first few notes, and I am IMMEDIATELY transported back to that sunny afternoon. 

I can vividly recall so many details about that drive...over Tierra Rejada road, past the family farm that had awesome strawberrys and fresh produce, up to the 90 degree right hand turn that I loved barreling into, breaking at the last possible second, up the winding hill to the top of the grade, then back down to Moorpark Road, and over to CLU.  I had on a pair of blue Vuarnets  'cat eye' sunglasses, and a Big Gulp Dr. Pepper in the cup holder.

Now, before you all call my wife to tell here that 1) I have cheesy taste in music (she knows) and 2) I need a CAT scan,  I know that it's not the best song in the world.  It's a bit dated, and the lyrics are fairly generic. I don't go out of my way to add the song to my iPod , nor do I actively seek it out when I'm just at the computer needing to listen to some music.  It is just burned into my brain and it has these wonderful, vivid  memories attached to it. 

More than the first dance song with my wife at our wedding (Harry Connick Jr. 'It had to be You' by the way - I'm not a total git) more than any other song that I can think of.

I don't know why.

So, why am I writing about this today?  Pandora, on my run, in the cold, windy , pre-rainy morning. 2 notes in , and I was 21 years old in my Camero on a sunny day. 

Pretty cool.

For your ear worm of the day, please enjoy.

Mia Culpa (+ 1)

It has been said that you should never say something on the internet that you wouldn't want on the front page of you local newspaper.  Don't panic - I haven't. 

Just a bit of mental/karmic/editorial house keeping:

• Two Latin headlines in a row.  As I am not the Pope, I should expand my vocabulary and not depend on a rich, but somewhat dead language. 
• My last post was a bit on the pity party, woe is me, whiny side of the street.  I stand by my words and thoughts - this is just not the channel that I have created to express them, and more importantly, not the show you put on your online DVR.  Nothing worse than sitting down to watch Mad Men and getting Dance Moms.

Like I said when I started this, "If I stick my foot in it, call me on it."  Well, my foot got a bit muddy, and I called it.

Quid Pro Quo

Our 1 year old high tech washing machine broke down this week.  Since it was still under warranty, I called and set up an appointment to have it repaired.  See if this sounds familiar:

• 2:30 Saturday - call to set up appointment
• Earliest available appointment  - Thursday, between 1:00 and 5:00
• Thursday, 4:54 pm - Technician shows up, takes less than 20 minutes to repair (drive belt failure due to a loose fitting)

Now, we have all had to set aside a block of time for some sort of home based appointment - cable installation, carpet cleaning, delivery of some sort, etc... It can be moderately frustrating to 'waste' hours of time for a stuff like this , but 99 time out of 100, the appointment is kept within the given time frame.  Similarly, we have all spent WAY too much time siting in a doctor's office waiting as the scheduled appointment time goes whizzing by, and the 5 minute follow up is 2 hours after you arrived.  Still, the end result is that you have seen the doctor.

After taking some time off from the "rodent completion", I have been on the hunt for new employment opportunities for the past several months.  During the process, I have set up dozens of appointment, meetings, phone calls, lunches and coffees.  I can say unequivocally, that I have NEVER missed or even been late for any of these events.  It is not a source of pride...it is just who I am .  If I say that I will be at  Jerry's Deli at 12:30 on the 15th...I'm there at 12:15, just because I left early so as not to get hung up in traffic. On the off chance that I am being held up, or have a conflict, a text/phone call/email is sent with as soon as I am able, allowing the party I am to meet with adequate notice of the change.

The interview process is a roller coaster.  With numerous hurdles to overcome just to get the interview - going thru multiple levels of technology to get your name in front of a human being, pre screening with HR/recruiters, coordinating time to have the call/meet in person - the interview is almost a relief.  

It is a common practice to follow up an interview with an email, thanking the interviewer for their time and  (if appropriate) to make a reference to 'next steps' in the process.  This is especially true when at the end of the interview, the interviewer references the next step, ie.."I'll follow up with you next Monday"..or .."We need to get you in hear to meet the rest of the team next week.."

I wish the response process was 1/100th as dependable as the washing machine repair process. 

I have lost count the number of times that I have waited for, and never received the promised follow up.  I'm not counting the soft.."we're looking at other candidates, and we'll get back to you..." or ..."don't call us, we'll call you..." variety.  I'm talking about the hard date, sometimes even time specific statements. 

In once instance, I had 2 separate phone interviews, was told at the end of the second call that.."I want to get you in here next Tuesday to meet the other members of the group.." only to have 3 weeks go by, with 4 unanswered emails, 3 phone messages left, and find out thru an industry web site that the position had been filed.

The very type of behavior that would keep me from getting an interview, or a best, indicate what type of employee I would be, seems to be an common practice from the other side of the desk, and I'm not sure why.

Say what you mean, keep your word, follow up and keep all parties as informed as possible.

I get that I am not going to get every job that I interview for. If I'm not a match, let me know.  I'm a big boy, and you won't hurt my feelings by telling me 'no', for whatever reason.

If you can't make an appointment or circumstances change, a simple email, text, phone call is all that is needed. 

However, don't take the easy way out and just go radio silent.  Call it courtesy or respect, call it professionalism, call it whatever you wish.

Ah, job hunting...it's like jr. high dating for grown ups.

"Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt"

I tried to attribute this quote to its originator, and ran into a bit of a classic black hole.  I found several sources that gave credit to Abraham Lincoln, some to Mark Train, a few to Woodrow Wilson, as well as George Eliot, Groucho Marx, and even Albert Einstein.  Most of my research pointed back to Proverbs 17:28 as the kernel of the idea :

"Even a fool, when he holds his peace, is counted wise: and he that shuts his lips is esteemed a man of understanding."  

I have a series of shelves in my head, shelves that contain volumes of information. 99.999999% is woefully trivial and utterly banal.  But it is information.  Friends often joke that if they were ever to appear on the TV show Who Wants to Be a Millionaire, I would be their 'phone a friend' just for the breadth of useless information contained in my brain.  

Since I've yet to have anyone I know be on any TV trivia game show, I've yet to have a valid outlet for my 'gift'.  That doesn't mean I've kept it hidden. On the contrary, I have been know to spew factoids out at an alarming rate, and most of the time it is harmless fun.  Its not a info-tourettes barrage however.  It tends to be tangentially connected info....sometimes one or two steps away, other times, well...it can turn into 180* of Kevin Bacon.

Just like folks appear to be doing with the recently redesigned Google+ (http://www.slashgear.com/google-refresh-triggers-social-fury-11222491/) the 'white space' or quite times in our conversations can freak people out. So to avoid the uncomfortable feelings, we fill the void with...sometimes nothing more that noise.  

So if you run into me and I seem a bit less talkative, its not that I have nothing to say...I'm just trying to give silence it's due.

365 Lessons (Hopefully) Learned

This past Sunday marked the one-year anniversary of…well, not being a day-to-day member of the working class.  How’s that for a euphemism???  As I adjusted to the copious amount of ‘free time’ that this change has afforded me, I started to compile a few bon mots, pithy sayings, clichés if you will,  that I discovered about the world, and more precisely, about myself.  Some of these you would be hard pressed to find on a bad 80’s tee-shirt or seedy cocktail napkin (where IS the beef..wink wink).  Others really hit me hard between the eyes and are small but important building blocks in the renovation that is me.  Here is a handful – no specific order.

• Most clichés’ about finding a job are true; especially the one that says it is easier to get a job when you have a job.
• As kind as people try to be, sometimes you need a true friend to call you out on your shortcomings, so that you can grow, and not continue to make the same mistakes.
• Regardless of how much you want to blame others for the situation you are in, you have to cop to some responsibility.
•  The simple act of running is pure. 
• Stress not only can kill, but it does a fair job of maiming you as well.
• Gray hair is not a bad thing.
• Embracing the joy of others is far better than cursing your own sadness.
• Give – Take. Same number of letters, WAY different value.
• Loyalty needs to start with you.
• Kids are brilliant – you just need to pay attention.
• It hurts to watch others hurt because of you. Vicious cycle.
• Free time isn’t.
• Sleep can make you tired.
• Pay attention to advice…you don’t have to heed it, but make sure you are aware of it.
• 1 in 30 rule.  If you are the only person in the room that smells something funky…its you.
• Be brave not silent.
• Have an idea, not an opinion (stole that from Kevin Smith’s Dogma).
• “I don’t know” is often your best answer.  It is the most truthful and the least dangerous.
• You have it better than 99% of the world…smile.
• Many times people really do want to help you – let them.
• You’re ½ as funny and twice as annoying as you think you are.
• Fresh oranges are AWESOME!
• Just keep swimming (thanks Dory)
• UB40’s ‘Red Red Wine’ is quite possible the WORST song ever.
• When in doubt, move.  A change in perspective may be the answer.
• It’s a fine line between persistent and stalking.
• Gratitude is underrated.
• Electronic is no replacement for physical.  At best, it augments – at worst, it makes you less human, and we need all the humanity we can get.
• Creativity is a muscle.  Stop sitting on your metaphorical couch.  Stretch.
• Be happy with yourself, or else you will never be happy around others.
• Make new mistakes every day.  Do your best to avoid repeats.

 

And finally, this line from Caddyshack:

Judge Smails: Ty, what did you shoot today?
Ty Webb: Oh, Judge, I don't keep score.
Judge Smails: Then how do you measure yourself with other golfers?
Ty Webb: By height.

Why I strive every day to be a better person

Jacob and Jennie

When I don't feel like.... giving the extra bit, running the hill, taking the time to hold a door, letting the car merge, putting the fork down,lending a hand...they make me.  I am a better man because of them.  Happy Easter.