Multiple Angles / Full Reality?

17,766.  That is how many photos I have in digital format on my computer.  The photo archive spans just under 10 years, and contains photos taken by not only me, but by my son, daughter and wife.

There are photos of great family vacations, of holidays, stop motion experiments by my son, backyard BBQs and pool parties.  A fairly well rounded collection of images.

Mixed in with the good, necessary fun or important pictures, is a pretty fair amount of digital flotsam and jetsam.  You know the type ..the somewhat out of focus, or badly lit shot, the ones with the heads of the subjects cut off or 25 'auto-winder' shots, all nearly identical.  the kind of shots that, in this digital age, are nothing more than hard drive space wasters.  I really could cut the number of pictures by about 50% with just a bit of 'highlight/delete'.  And yet...

Its in this scatter shot group of digital information that I think my 'real' pictures can be found.  Its easy enough to focus on the pristine, well composed moments in time, and to think that they represent the full picture of who we are.  And who would know or even care if I was to simply remove the not good enough, duplicates or just plain bad bits of data.

I would.

We like to spend our time putting our best images out for the world to see. We all want to hear that we have the best looking kids, the nicest house, the hottest wife.  That what we have accomplished in life has value. 

In order to truly appreciate the perfect 'Kodak Moments (TM)' , we have to be willing and open to not just looking at the bad pictures, but be ready and accepting of others telling us that ..."gee, not your best side in that shot."

Just because we can...don't delete.

24

In my dreams, I'm always 24 years old.

Regardless off the type of dream, the events in the dream, the people in the dream, I'm always 24.
 
I don't know why.

In that fog of time between dreaming and waking, when the world has yet to invade my brain, before my body is able to groan at me for the previous days run, let alone the 40 plus years of less that perfect living, I am 24.

When I was  24, life was o.k. To the best of my recollection, nothing major happened to me when I was 24.  No relationship (starting/ending/existing) to speak of. I hadn't started in the games industry yet - I was working a pretty boring 9-5 job in 'Franchise Development'.  I was not in great physical shape, had no real hobbies, no tangible assets, save for a car.  I had met Ann, but we were not even close to dating (that is a whole 'nother post!)

The best, as they say, was still ahead for me.

Just to clarify...I LOVE my life today.  I'm healthier than I have ever been, I have the greatest (yes THE GREATEST) wife and kids in the world and as soon as I navigate a small bit of career turbulence, I will have the schmaltzy Lifetime, made for TV movie ending that permeates the airwaves.

So why 24?  Was it because that is the age when I stopped growing emotionally? Spiritual? Physically? Intellectually? I don't think so, because most of the people who know me say that I stopped growing emotionally at around 13 (as most of us guys do). As for the other areas, I don't think we ever stop evolving and growing,

I think it is my inner blueprint, my soft reset point.  I think we all need a reference point for who we are in life, and as the amount of influences on us increases exponentially every day,  having something a simple as an arbitrary age to use as a starting point is not such a terrible thing.

So, how old are you?

Blank Page Syndrome

The blinking cursor in the upper left of the screen.  There are as few things in life as daunting as the start of a thought or an idea...if you are TRYING to have an idea.   Unlike many other tasks, like sweeping a floor, painting a wall or making a sandwich, creation of an idea is, well , hard.

The kernel of an idea, the center essence of creativity is something that, at least for me, has to just happen.  I can't 'will' an idea out of thin air.  Once the spark is there, I revel in the experience of building and creating, of nurturing and expanding the concept.  One of my favorite quotes is from a  book by Neal Stepheson called Snow Crash:

“To condense fact from the vapor of nuance.”

I strive everyday to search for the great, and sometimes not sop great ideas.  The blank page is my nemesis...working on making it my trusted friend. 

Saturday...Check!

Today was one of those 'life is pretty good' days.  I'm gonna bask in the rest of it...

There's no surprise in life if you know where you're goin'

I was watching the Bud Greenspan Olympic documentary  "16 Days of Glory" about the the 1984 Summer Games in Los Angeles. and the segment on Joan Benoit had few little nuggets of insight for me, buried in the overall arch of the story.

The big picture was that 1984 was the FIRST  time that women were allowed to compete in a race longer than 1500 meters. Joan had qualified for the Olympics 17 after having arthroscopic knee surgery with a time of 2:31:04, and won the inaugural Women's Olympic Marathon 3 months later with a time of 2:24:52. Amazing stuff.

The first little nugget was when Joan was talking about running the Boston Marathon in 1979.  As she was running, she asked a male runner where the infamous 'Heartbreak Hill' was on the course.  The guy gave her an incredulous look and said that she had finished it ...over 2 miles back.

The second nugget was during the Olympic Marathon segment itself.  There was a section of the race that took place on a closed section of the 110 freeway.  Joan said that when she was running this section,it reminded her of the solitude of her training runs back in Maine.  She had heard other runners complaining about this stretch of the race. Joan then said that hadn't looked at the race course before she ran...in fact she NEVER looked at a race route.  She enjoys the sense of discovery, the 'let's see what's around the next corner' feeling.

It really struck me.  We spend so much time and effort planning and researching, that sometimes we forget to just discover.  Don't get me wrong...Joan had done a MASSIVE amount training for this run.  She didn't just show up that day and start  running.  The race for her, was in her, not the course.

This is a song that pops up on my iPod when I'm running..it always makes me smile.  Now I have a better understanding of why.

Here are some great links about Joan Benoit Samuelson and the Bud Greenspan documentary 16 Days of Glory
 
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joan_Benoit
http://www.marathonguide.com/history/olympicmarathons/chapter26.cfm
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0090559/

When 'Network' was just a movie

In 1976,  I was 11 and we moved to a small desert community called Blythe. Located about 100 miles east of  Palm Springs, on the California /Arizona Border,  was my Mon's home town and we had just bought the Sizzler restaurant.

I had spent the first 5 years of school - 6 if you count kindergarten - at small Christian school in Covina.  Current evidence not withstanding, I was a pretty well adjusted, social, bright kid and did well in school. the transition to the new school was a bit bumpy, but I got thru it pretty unscathed.

Jumping into a new environment when you are a kid is so much easier than when you are an adult.  Perhaps I am romanticizing the process from when I was younger, but it seems like, as an adult, getting to know new people is a bit more challenging.

We no longer 'meet' people. Now we 'connect' and 'network'. 

I still consider myself a 'pretty well adjusted, social, bright adult' and  I've done well in my professional life. But now, as I go about meeting new people, there is this subtle undercurrent of caution.  I know it's always been there, but I'm much more aware of it now.

'What does this person want?' 'Why should I spend my time/give my attention to this person?' 'What is the upside of me knowing this person?'

It's all games.  Everything we do in life is a game.  It's all about strategy, about gathering and processing information, looking to see what is the benefit of all of our actions and  interactions

I'm as guilty as the next person when it comes to this gamesmanship.  I think we all are.  I don't know if my acknowledgment of this is a good thing or a bad thing.  Am I just pointing out the obvious to the rest of the world by writing this, thus exposing me as a slow to evolve dolt? Or have I stumbled onto one of life's great truths?

Maybe both.

Isn't Ironic?

For the half a dozen of my faithful readers (o.k. the hand full of you that have acknowledged this blog - thanks btw), it is not lost on me that the day after I make the bold statement of  'a post a day' , I fail to post. 

No excuses.  I plain and simple dropped the ball.

Mea maxima culpa.